Friday, November 4, 2011

Go To Sleep

I can never take enough pictures of my sleeping babies. Never! There are two things my kids do that I can never get enough shots of, first sleeping (sleeping babies are magically beautiful) and second is running down the boardwalk to the beach, any boardwalk, any beach.

I wanted to make a post, or at least start one this evening. I had a few minutes after kids were put in bed to get this started. But as soon as my daughter got in bed she started coughing really bad, and needed some attention (a drink, Vicks etc...). Her coughing woke up the baby, and he needed some snuggles from daddy. By the time I got back to the computer my few minutes was up, and I no longer was going to be able to start a post. Now I am multi-tasking, watching a show with Todd and typing during the commercials. And that's not very nice of me, because then we can't watch the show "together" (because part of me has a computer on my lap) and we can't talk because I'm typing when we would talk.

But one thing I am trying to do more of these days is talk about real parenting. I love my sleeping babies. I love to go in after they have been sleeping for a bit and they are breathing really deep and making funny noises. I love to breath them in and smell their little smells, the baby smells like pie or graham crackers most times (I know where the graham cracker smell comes from, but I'm always confused by the pie smell), and my girl smells like fruity detaingler, sand, paint, marker, tooth paste (and I know where all those smells come from). I like to whisper things to them like, "I love you so much" or other things about how sweet they are, sometimes Marin says things back in her sleep. Sometimes I crawl in with them and listen for a while... and fall asleep and wander to my bed around 2am, oops.

But don't let me fool you, about the time dinner is over, and we clean up the mess, and get kids in "jammies" I'm ready to crash on the couch and check out for a bit. I don't even make it to the brushing teeth part, Todd has to do that. I like to read stories, but on my terms (I read on their terms all day), like laying down and only if they are scratching my back or playing with my hair. But other than that, I like Todd to take over bed time. I like to take a break in between giving attention to kids all day, dinner and then actually responding to Todd's questions, and telling him all the interesting things from my day, and maybe listening to his. I mean its nice to have face time with your spouse after a long day apart right.

So when I say, I love to breath in my sleeping babies, and while I do that most nights before I go to bed, I don't get to the point of them actually being asleep without having the thoughts, "Just go to sleep already. Are you kidding you have to pee again!"

I think many mothers might be like me, selfish with their night hours. I feel like I give all day, and I love giving to my kids. I answer questions all day, I wash little hands that fished in the toilet, I had patience when I washed oatmeal out of his hair, and off the wall, I laughed when I found it on my lap in the middle of a meeting, I make meals and snacks all day and clean up from them, I get stains out of those favorite pink and white striped tights, I kiss snotty faces, I wipe snotty noses, I wipe bottoms, I wipe tables and floors, and tears from falls and hurt feelings. And at night I am ready to finish that article I started a week ago, watch Parenthood on Tuesday and Survivor on Wednesday. I like to hear Todd tell me something without getting interrupted. All of this is okay. And after I get to have a bit of time alone with a book, Todd or TV I find myself creeping into their room to watch them breath and kiss their squishy sleeping faces. Then I come back out to the couch and while Todd watches the news I fall asleep and he has to drag my lifeless sleep talking self to bed... usually in my jeans and t-shirt (if I don't put on P.J.'s before the news there is a chance I might sleep in my clothes from that day... ewww I know).

No comments: