My husband discovered a wonderful site at Baylor University whose focus is children. Among the articles is a wonderful read called A Vibrant Theology of Children. It is written by Robert B. Kurschwitz and is used in Baylor University's Christian Reflection, a series in faith and ethics. Its a PDF and you can print it off to make it easier to read. I'm going to give you the first short paragraph so you can see what its about.
"Many distorted and simplistic views of children see them as commodities, consumers, and economic burdens, or only as sinful creatures that are 'not yet fully human.' In Scripture and Christian tradition we discover a richer picture of childhood that should inspire creative religious education and renewed commitment to serving all children."
You can read it here
Thoughtful Parenting: A family resource that seeks to nurture flourishing in the family by encouraging more purposeful living in parenting and family life.
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
Reflective Moments...
I spoke with a friend on the phone last night. It was nice to catch up, and have a few kid-free moments to talk about something that is difficult for both of us, and I'm sure every mother out there. I'm sure its hard for dad's too, but we don't represent their perspective, because we are two women talking. The topic was; how do you live a prayerful life, or to word it another way, how do we as mothers integrate prayer, thoughtfulness, reading, or being reflective in some way into our busy crazy lives? My friend said she was reading a book by a male author who spoke of his reflective, prayerful life, his commitment to community and all that stuff Christians are called to do... and she threw it across the room... why? Well for the same reason I would have. Its hard for us to imagine fulfilling all those callings when you have children. Its not that we use children as excuses to get out of being prayerful, believe me I would love a few minutes each day to be kid-free and sit and think. I would even love it if I could sit and think with kids. But seriously, I have a toddler, and I take care of a friends child who is also 2. My daily life is NUTS. Don't take me wrong, I love my baby, I think she is the coolest kid ever, I think she is the cutest little pixie baby too. But lately she has been biting her best buddy for no reason at all, and he's into jumping off of everything, which means climbing on top of everything. These two toddlers have one huge bag of tricks and never stop thinking of new ways to make me crazy (did I mention they also stuck their arms into the toilet today!).
Anyways back to the book conversation, here's the deal, a man wrote this book, nothing against men, but the guy who wrote this book is a university professor, his job is to THINK... all day. He gets paid to think, so what is his wife doing? Is she home with his kids being able to live this reflective life he writes about? Maybe I don't know, but what I do want to know is, are there women who have kids and get moments to be thoughtful? Of course there are, there are lots of you out there, you just don't have the time to write books about it because you are cleaning lunch off the walls, kissing scraped knees, stacking blocks, giving baths, scrubbing that mysterious stain out of the carpet and potty training that child who just peed under the bed.
The more I talked with my friend we did think of a few women who have moments of thoughtfulness, Anne Lammot wrote Operating Instructions during her sons first year of life, as a single mom. This book came about as a result of her taking the time to sit and write a few moments a day, or week, or whenever she got a "moment". My husband just introduced me to newsletter called Notes from Toad Hall. Margie Haack writes this thoughtful little jewel. I love reading it, over and over. I have only gotten two issues and I have read them several times because they are encouraging, honest, thoughtful, and prayerful too. My husband and I just ordered a book by Image's Gregory and Susanne Wolfe, Circle of Grace. This couple writes on ways to integrate prayer into the family life, I have not read it yet, we just got it in the mail yesterday. So I'll write a review on it later. :)
Anyways, I was thinking about this during nap time (during which my daughter only slept for 25 minutes... so it was a short nap time... I'm still bitter :) ) and I thought about my friend Stacy's blog, she writes with some regularity in her blog and its always good. Sometimes is a conversation with her 5 year old, sometimes its a crazy day she had with her three boys, either way, did I mention she writes in her blog regularly and has THREE boys! (she also takes time out of her one break in the day, nap time, to call me back, thanks Stacy)
Alright, I'm sure this will become a topic I write more about. If any of you out there have any tips on how to be a more reflective mother I could use any of your suggestions, for now, I'm off to fold cloth diapers, and rest on the couch with my husband who just made me dinner because I had a rough day with my two little toddlers.
Anyways back to the book conversation, here's the deal, a man wrote this book, nothing against men, but the guy who wrote this book is a university professor, his job is to THINK... all day. He gets paid to think, so what is his wife doing? Is she home with his kids being able to live this reflective life he writes about? Maybe I don't know, but what I do want to know is, are there women who have kids and get moments to be thoughtful? Of course there are, there are lots of you out there, you just don't have the time to write books about it because you are cleaning lunch off the walls, kissing scraped knees, stacking blocks, giving baths, scrubbing that mysterious stain out of the carpet and potty training that child who just peed under the bed.
The more I talked with my friend we did think of a few women who have moments of thoughtfulness, Anne Lammot wrote Operating Instructions during her sons first year of life, as a single mom. This book came about as a result of her taking the time to sit and write a few moments a day, or week, or whenever she got a "moment". My husband just introduced me to newsletter called Notes from Toad Hall. Margie Haack writes this thoughtful little jewel. I love reading it, over and over. I have only gotten two issues and I have read them several times because they are encouraging, honest, thoughtful, and prayerful too. My husband and I just ordered a book by Image's Gregory and Susanne Wolfe, Circle of Grace. This couple writes on ways to integrate prayer into the family life, I have not read it yet, we just got it in the mail yesterday. So I'll write a review on it later. :)
Anyways, I was thinking about this during nap time (during which my daughter only slept for 25 minutes... so it was a short nap time... I'm still bitter :) ) and I thought about my friend Stacy's blog, she writes with some regularity in her blog and its always good. Sometimes is a conversation with her 5 year old, sometimes its a crazy day she had with her three boys, either way, did I mention she writes in her blog regularly and has THREE boys! (she also takes time out of her one break in the day, nap time, to call me back, thanks Stacy)
Alright, I'm sure this will become a topic I write more about. If any of you out there have any tips on how to be a more reflective mother I could use any of your suggestions, for now, I'm off to fold cloth diapers, and rest on the couch with my husband who just made me dinner because I had a rough day with my two little toddlers.
Friday, August 1, 2008
Potty Training...Parent Training
My daughter seems to be interested in going to the bathroom on the toilet. She has successfully gone potty (not just pee either), she regularly lets us know when she has already gone in her diaper. But I'm not getting my hopes up that she is potty training, she did this about 5 months ago. She actually started sitting on the potty every morning and went "number 2" for about two weeks then she just stopped. So I started doing some reading about potty training back then and now I am thinking about it even more. Here's what I wanted to know;
1. What is the overall goal of PT (this might seem obvious... to stop using diapers right, not so easy.)?
2. Is it my job to train her?
3. Is she developmentally ready?
4. What are the ways I could really mess this up?
Here is what I have found out: 1The overall goal is obviously that your child is not longer needing diapers and can go the the bathroom in the toilet... but its WAY more than that. Toilet training is NOT about the parents' accomplishment of getting their child to use the toilet. According to Dr. Sears (askdrsears.com) if your kid is still in diapers when you had planned otherwise, it does not make you a bad mother or father. It just means your child is not ready, and all kids are ready at different ages (usually between 18 months and 2.5 years, but its not unusual for a child to be 3 or four before they are regularly keeping the princess panties dry). The actual accomplishment of using the toilet and being able to stay dry is all about your child. Its their accomplishment.
In the book Kids are Worth it! by Barbara Coloroso, she says "The backbone (authoritative, which is not to be confused with authoritarian) puts the child be in full control of her body functions and master her own toilet training at her own speed. The parent has a flexible routine, is positive and nonchalant about the routine, expects mistakes and sees them as opportunities to learn, has a relaxed attitude, and is available to help. She is not overly concerned about other adult's expectations and comments."
I think that also answers my second question, while my job is to provide guidance, support, encouragement and lots of toilet paper, its my daughters job to be physically and cognitively ready for potty training.
My third question, is she ready, how can I tell? Basically, when she goes in her diaper and is conscious of it, lets her parents know she has peed or pooped, asks to sit on the potty, is able to stay dry for a period of time, or in my personal opinion when she can hold it long enough to only have accidents behind the couch... OK so I didn't read that anywhere, its just what my child is doing. Oh yes she does not have accidents anywhere in the house, just behind the couch. Anyways, a child also needs to be able to communicate they need to go to the bathroom, and most importantly they need to be willing to use the toilet. Once again its not about me being a good cheerleader and getting her to go, its about her being willing to use the potty and then I can become her cheerleader.
OK my final question is about how I can possibly mess up potty training. Coloroso says that parents who take ownership of toilet training (starting before the child is ready), use punishments (spanking for accidents, "big boys don't pee their pants" humiliation, etc. ) or use a more laissez-faire attitude can accomplish several outcomes, these include:
-The child's understanding is that they do not have control over their body or its functions
-resistance
-feelings of shame or failure
-prolonging the process
Dear lord! This is not as simple as it seems.
A few other comments. Dr Sears' says you need the following things before you start PT:
Patience: "the power or capacity to endure without complaint something difficult"
"Once you and your child embark on the toilet-training adventure, thanks to your willingness to establish a backbone structure of preparedness, practice, and patience, your child will be able to begin to see herself as a competent, resourceful, and responsible person who is learning to treat her own body with dignity and regard."
And finally, "Relax. Many mothers and fathers are concerned that teaching their children bowel and bladder control is a mysteriously powerful parent-child interaction fraught with all sorts of hidden pitfalls, any one of which can induce crippling neurosis. But in reality, toilet learning is not different from any other early childhood learning experience-learning how to handle a fork, or button a shirt-that requires a combination of mental and muscular coordination." Alison Mack, Toilet Learning
1. What is the overall goal of PT (this might seem obvious... to stop using diapers right, not so easy.)?
2. Is it my job to train her?
3. Is she developmentally ready?
4. What are the ways I could really mess this up?
Here is what I have found out: 1The overall goal is obviously that your child is not longer needing diapers and can go the the bathroom in the toilet... but its WAY more than that. Toilet training is NOT about the parents' accomplishment of getting their child to use the toilet. According to Dr. Sears (askdrsears.com) if your kid is still in diapers when you had planned otherwise, it does not make you a bad mother or father. It just means your child is not ready, and all kids are ready at different ages (usually between 18 months and 2.5 years, but its not unusual for a child to be 3 or four before they are regularly keeping the princess panties dry). The actual accomplishment of using the toilet and being able to stay dry is all about your child. Its their accomplishment.
In the book Kids are Worth it! by Barbara Coloroso, she says "The backbone (authoritative, which is not to be confused with authoritarian) puts the child be in full control of her body functions and master her own toilet training at her own speed. The parent has a flexible routine, is positive and nonchalant about the routine, expects mistakes and sees them as opportunities to learn, has a relaxed attitude, and is available to help. She is not overly concerned about other adult's expectations and comments."
I think that also answers my second question, while my job is to provide guidance, support, encouragement and lots of toilet paper, its my daughters job to be physically and cognitively ready for potty training.
My third question, is she ready, how can I tell? Basically, when she goes in her diaper and is conscious of it, lets her parents know she has peed or pooped, asks to sit on the potty, is able to stay dry for a period of time, or in my personal opinion when she can hold it long enough to only have accidents behind the couch... OK so I didn't read that anywhere, its just what my child is doing. Oh yes she does not have accidents anywhere in the house, just behind the couch. Anyways, a child also needs to be able to communicate they need to go to the bathroom, and most importantly they need to be willing to use the toilet. Once again its not about me being a good cheerleader and getting her to go, its about her being willing to use the potty and then I can become her cheerleader.
OK my final question is about how I can possibly mess up potty training. Coloroso says that parents who take ownership of toilet training (starting before the child is ready), use punishments (spanking for accidents, "big boys don't pee their pants" humiliation, etc. ) or use a more laissez-faire attitude can accomplish several outcomes, these include:
-The child's understanding is that they do not have control over their body or its functions
-resistance
-feelings of shame or failure
-prolonging the process
Dear lord! This is not as simple as it seems.
A few other comments. Dr Sears' says you need the following things before you start PT:
- Sense of humor
- Endless patience
- Creative marketing
- Potty-chair
- Training pants
Patience: "the power or capacity to endure without complaint something difficult"
"Once you and your child embark on the toilet-training adventure, thanks to your willingness to establish a backbone structure of preparedness, practice, and patience, your child will be able to begin to see herself as a competent, resourceful, and responsible person who is learning to treat her own body with dignity and regard."
And finally, "Relax. Many mothers and fathers are concerned that teaching their children bowel and bladder control is a mysteriously powerful parent-child interaction fraught with all sorts of hidden pitfalls, any one of which can induce crippling neurosis. But in reality, toilet learning is not different from any other early childhood learning experience-learning how to handle a fork, or button a shirt-that requires a combination of mental and muscular coordination." Alison Mack, Toilet LearningSunday, July 27, 2008
Zwaggle
I recently came across this parent network that I wanted to share... which is what this site is about. Zwaggle.com is a site where parents can post their children's outgrown things which will be shared with other zwaggle-ers looking for new things. Its a way to keep toys, cloths, and just about everything else in circulation. Here's how it works: lets say you have a few cloths, toys or books your kids are done using, you post them on Zwaggle.com and earn "zwaggle points" and then get to spend those points on other posted things your kids might need or enjoy. All the details are at:
www.zwaggle.com
check it out. its a great idea to keep all those kids things from going into the landfill.
Another great group trying to do a similar thing is www.freecycle.com.
I joined it when I lived in Missouri and came across a lot of interesting items... such a a white rat that someone's snake would not eat, or a child's Elvis suit. But there are other useful things too.
www.zwaggle.com
check it out. its a great idea to keep all those kids things from going into the landfill.
Another great group trying to do a similar thing is www.freecycle.com.
I joined it when I lived in Missouri and came across a lot of interesting items... such a a white rat that someone's snake would not eat, or a child's Elvis suit. But there are other useful things too.
Friday, July 25, 2008
Cloth Diapering Questions
I just had a friend email me a few questions about my cloth diaper entry so I wanted to post them so they might help anyone else. Her questions are in black and my answers are in red.
If I get the Bum Genius
1. is that all i have to get? just several of those? (yes, you do not need snappies, or pins or inserts those come with the diapers)
2. how many do you recommend getting? i have heard a newborn can go through 10 diapers a day! (I suggest about 16 but like you said infants go through a lot... hmmm you could always get started with 12-16 and if you need more get them later, or just have a few disposables on hand during that phase. Its the shortest phase of the cloth diaper wearing days)
3. how is it that they can fit a newborn and a one year old (one size fits all!?)!? (Yeah its kinda crazy, they start at 8 pounds and go to 32 I believe) (I had a 7 pound baby and had to use a few of the old fashion types in the beginning, meaning the type your mom probably used, a big prefold with the snappies and a cover that was for a small baby) I probably did not need to do that I could have just used disposables until she fit and saved my self a few leaks and some money.
4. do you have to buy accessories for these diapers? NO (not really, only the diaper sheets that make it possible to flush the poop. BG comes with a night insert, and that might be really nice to use when your babers is really tiny then the diaper will not be so bulky.) I'm going to send you a few pictures that might help too. OH and what ever system you decide to get for storing dirty diapers I guess you can call that an accessory. But you do not need anything for the diaper itself.
Gotta love cloth diapers!
If I get the Bum Genius
1. is that all i have to get? just several of those? (yes, you do not need snappies, or pins or inserts those come with the diapers)
2. how many do you recommend getting? i have heard a newborn can go through 10 diapers a day! (I suggest about 16 but like you said infants go through a lot... hmmm you could always get started with 12-16 and if you need more get them later, or just have a few disposables on hand during that phase. Its the shortest phase of the cloth diaper wearing days)
3. how is it that they can fit a newborn and a one year old (one size fits all!?)!? (Yeah its kinda crazy, they start at 8 pounds and go to 32 I believe) (I had a 7 pound baby and had to use a few of the old fashion types in the beginning, meaning the type your mom probably used, a big prefold with the snappies and a cover that was for a small baby) I probably did not need to do that I could have just used disposables until she fit and saved my self a few leaks and some money.
4. do you have to buy accessories for these diapers? NO (not really, only the diaper sheets that make it possible to flush the poop. BG comes with a night insert, and that might be really nice to use when your babers is really tiny then the diaper will not be so bulky.) I'm going to send you a few pictures that might help too. OH and what ever system you decide to get for storing dirty diapers I guess you can call that an accessory. But you do not need anything for the diaper itself.
Gotta love cloth diapers!
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
Eco Babies Wear Green
We just got this book for a friend having a baby. Its is a part of a great series of books that I think most people would find humorous.
Eco Babies Wear Green
This is my favorite part, eco babies wear green, and the picture of the cloth diapers!
Eco Babies Wear Green
This is my favorite part, eco babies wear green, and the picture of the cloth diapers!
Pregnancy and Accupuncture
I have been thinking a lot about acupuncture these days. I have a friend who started it to get healthy before getting pregnant, to get rid of stress and boost her fertility. I have another friend who is already pregnant and using it to minimize her morning sickness. I have two friends who have used it as a natural method to infertility (both got pregnant shortly after starting treatments). Everyone I know who has used it, likes it and says it works. I think it will be my next research project. I'll let you know what I find out. But for now let me tell you what I do know.
First: Fertility
I have known several women who have tried to get pregnant for anywhere from 1 to 3 years. Each of them tried methods such as, charting fertility cycles, medicines, and different medical procedures. After their attempts with doctors failed, they each turned to see what the alternative medicine could offer. Let me stop here to say that each of these women was never diagnosed with a specific infertility problem, they just were not getting pregnant. After starting acupuncture treatments both of my friends got pregnant within a few months. Is this a coincidence? I did a quick google search and found that there is a lot of information on this topic. I cannot wait to get going on my research!
Second: Morning Sickness
My friend who is pregnant has a lot of morning sickness. She is getting treatments for it through acupuncture and said that it is the only thing that actually helps her out. If she gets it regularly it keeps the vomiting at bay.
Alright if anyone knows anything about this topic let me know. I am curious as to what is going on with it.
First: Fertility
I have known several women who have tried to get pregnant for anywhere from 1 to 3 years. Each of them tried methods such as, charting fertility cycles, medicines, and different medical procedures. After their attempts with doctors failed, they each turned to see what the alternative medicine could offer. Let me stop here to say that each of these women was never diagnosed with a specific infertility problem, they just were not getting pregnant. After starting acupuncture treatments both of my friends got pregnant within a few months. Is this a coincidence? I did a quick google search and found that there is a lot of information on this topic. I cannot wait to get going on my research!
Second: Morning Sickness
My friend who is pregnant has a lot of morning sickness. She is getting treatments for it through acupuncture and said that it is the only thing that actually helps her out. If she gets it regularly it keeps the vomiting at bay.
Alright if anyone knows anything about this topic let me know. I am curious as to what is going on with it.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)